The Talk Of Mothers and Daughters

Gloria Steinem once said, "Every time a woman passes a mirror and criticizes herself, there's a girl watching..." Often as a role model for the young women and girls in our life we feel powerless as we struggle with our own body issues and acceptance. Yet, we are not unaware of the impact we can have on her developing self-image.

The one thing I have learned over the years, whether it be in parenting my own daughters or in working with other women, is that our children see everything. So when we skip a meal, complain about our cellulite, compare and critique other women's bodies or say disrespectful comments about our own body, it is witnessed and taken in. These young girls watch us as we look in the mirror at our reflection, they hear us talking to others about our body dissatisfaction, they listen to how we receive compliments and are aware of how we feel about our bodies.

Knowing this, it is important the we recognize that we need to change the way we are responding to our thoughts and self talk. We need to remember that our daughters see themselves through the mirror of our eyes. What we draw attention to about them and their body sends very strong messages. What we show them we value, whether it be a certain size, an age, or a hair color for example, they begin to use as their value system. If physical appearance is important to us, it will be to them.

It means creating healthy boundaries between our own personal process with our body acceptance and what we say and how we react in these body standards. Positive self talk will be witnessed and embraced. Focus on other attributes that are not beauty related and have nothing to do with appearance, changes where you and she will place value.

It takes time, it takes awareness, but in order to change the pattern of repetitive low self-worth and body shame, we have to start somewhere. There will still be plenty of messages passed on to our daughters about their beauty and their body through media and peers, but if our conversations with them focus on all that makes them so wonderful and unique, things will begin to change. If we can model to them acceptance and grace with our body, celebration of how it serves us and appreciation of all body types, the message will be loud and clear.

So where to begin? For starters stop talking and talking and talking about the latest diet. Try to send good healthy messages about your body through words and activities. Stop the negative talk about your body or anyone else's. Listen to the way she talks about her body and have conversations with her to help her see it from a more positive perspective or to share why she feels that way. With making some of these changes in your relationship with your body and with your daughter, you will begin to see changes both in your body awareness and in her developing self-concept of her beauty and her body image.

To learn more about Body Image Coaching, visit me at www.womenwithinsight.com.

Finding Your True North Food

We all understand that the food we eat fuels our body. We have some understanding that making "healthy" choices will help our body work better. We understand that the quality of the food we eat has an impact on how we feel.

But do we know that there is so much more to the body's relationship with food? Do we understand the body, the mind and the soul are impacted by our food choices. If we can agree that EVERYTHING in life is made up of energy, and this fact has been scientifically proven...Google it, then the energy we are consuming will have a direct relationship to the energy that we ARE!

Finding your true north is about finding YOUR way. Not that of the person sitting next to you or someone whose book you have read about their path or their choices. We are all incredibly, beautifully unique. That means our energies are unique and one of a kind. What works for me in regards to my relationship with food may not work for you. Our bodies are sending each of us their own personal messages.

How we listen to those messages, what we do with that information and how we invest in this relationship will be what has the most dramatic impact on your body, your mind and your soul connection. The one thing I have learned over time is that many people have a hard time "hearing" these messages and an even harder time interpreting them. It is an intimate connection between the foods we eat and how they serve our body. Finding the balance that is right for one person will be a terrible imbalance for another.

Then there is the whole aspect of understanding the energies to be found in the foods we eat. You can imagine that the energies of a beautiful bowl of fresh seasonal fruit is going to be quite different than that of a cupcake. Tuning into these energies, seeking what our body needs in the moment, what our mind and soul are seeking is all part of the equation. There are times when that cupcake are extremely important and satisfying and brings the "just right" energy to our body! Just as there are times when the bowl of fruit is the optimal choice.

Over the past several years I have developed a lovely relationship with my body and food. I have learned to listen to the messages. I have shifted my thinking about good versus bad foods. I have delighted my soul with powerful unique energies that keep me balanced and vibrant and alive! I have shared this understanding with many. Over time Finding Your True North Food was born.

Everyone can have a balanced and satisfying relationship with their body and food. Every relationship will be different. Learning how to nurture this relationship, to understand it, to keep it sound and balanced is an important aspect of our well being; body, mind and soul.

Blessings, Lisa

The Love of Self

For many, the criticism and comments that are said in their minds to themselves would never escape their lips and be spoken of someone else. The inner critic has a sharp tongue. It cuts one off at the knees, it draws blood, it keeps long hours and it is the ultimate opportunist. If someone spoke to them the way they speak to themselves, they would leave the relationship. And yet, the inner dialogue continues. It does not like to let up and always knows the best time to strike, or perhaps that is the worst time.

The inner critic has the poorest opinion of you and you allow it. You allow the power of your thoughts to create these inner conversations and they influence your personal view of your body, your life, your choices and more. Your soul shrinks from its touch, your heart aches, your mind stirs with more negativity and your life suffers. You accept mediocrity.

The only way one can interrupt this cycle is to begin with small acts of kindness and self-love. Simple steps taken will eventually lead to major gains made. Start with a simple kind mantra that you can repeat throughout the day. Or perhaps a gentle cup of tea and some quiet time to think positive thoughts about yourself.

Keep a gratitude journal or a blessing jar. Make note of what you are grateful for in your life day by day or the blessings that shower upon you. With time your perspective begins to shift and the focus is far less on the negative and more on the positive. Life becomes a bit brighter. Finding beauty becomes easier. Embracing a bit of self-love is welcomed.

The only way one can find the love of self is by seeking it and welcoming it. There are enough voices and images, messages and lies as well as slogans and opinions that bombard our day that try to detract us from our love of self. We need to be committed to this act of self. It becomes a choice we make each and every day, but a very worthwhile one. With time, this self-love radiates out to those around us. We model it, we share it and we spread it. Love's energy is contagious and very effective. And it is cyclical. The beauty of loving self is that it vibrates out the the world around us and then opens us up to receive more back. What a wondrous and beautiful thing! All for the love of self.

Blessings, Lisa

Divine Beauty

Tell someone that they are beautiful and you may get one of many different responses. Depending on that person's story and beliefs around beauty it may be a positive reaction or a negative, or it could be indifferent. The response may also be based on what you are referring to when you acknowledge their beauty.

One indisputable fact is that we are all divinely beautiful. We have an essence of our soul that shines. Maybe not all the time, maybe not in a while, perhaps it is hiding or wounded, but underneath it all and somewhere in the busy-ness of our life, our divine beauty exists.

There is greatness to be found in embracing this divine beauty. It illuminates our soul. It empowers our actions. This type of beauty touches hearts. It also heals wounds and unlocks doors. It is the spirit of our being. And it is completely and entirely unique to you.

This divine beauty cannot be purchased or copied. It cannot be embellished or masked. It is so vibrant that it shines through the cracks of our insecurities, the bars of our bravado, and the shadows of our pain.

It often is seen by others before we are aware of its presence. Yet it is this very beauty that connects us to each other. It brings worlds together. It creates union. It fosters peace and it welcomes simplicity.

There are many in our lives who we can identify with this glorious beauty. We hold them in a tender and special place within our heart. We think of them far differently from the glossy magazine paged bodies or the cinema screen bombshells. And if by chance we discover it in someone who also exhibits outward polished beauty, we stress the divine beauty as far more valuable and appreciated, "She may have a lovely face, but her heart and compassion truly are where her beauty shines."

So think on this. What is your divine beauty? How do you express it? What do you do to allow it to freely flow into the world and touch others? How do you recognize it and honor it? We are all divinely beautiful and it is here that we need no redefining!

Blessings, Lisa