The Love of Self

For many, the criticism and comments that are said in their minds to themselves would never escape their lips and be spoken of someone else. The inner critic has a sharp tongue. It cuts one off at the knees, it draws blood, it keeps long hours and it is the ultimate opportunist. If someone spoke to them the way they speak to themselves, they would leave the relationship. And yet, the inner dialogue continues. It does not like to let up and always knows the best time to strike, or perhaps that is the worst time.

The inner critic has the poorest opinion of you and you allow it. You allow the power of your thoughts to create these inner conversations and they influence your personal view of your body, your life, your choices and more. Your soul shrinks from its touch, your heart aches, your mind stirs with more negativity and your life suffers. You accept mediocrity.

The only way one can interrupt this cycle is to begin with small acts of kindness and self-love. Simple steps taken will eventually lead to major gains made. Start with a simple kind mantra that you can repeat throughout the day. Or perhaps a gentle cup of tea and some quiet time to think positive thoughts about yourself.

Keep a gratitude journal or a blessing jar. Make note of what you are grateful for in your life day by day or the blessings that shower upon you. With time your perspective begins to shift and the focus is far less on the negative and more on the positive. Life becomes a bit brighter. Finding beauty becomes easier. Embracing a bit of self-love is welcomed.

The only way one can find the love of self is by seeking it and welcoming it. There are enough voices and images, messages and lies as well as slogans and opinions that bombard our day that try to detract us from our love of self. We need to be committed to this act of self. It becomes a choice we make each and every day, but a very worthwhile one. With time, this self-love radiates out to those around us. We model it, we share it and we spread it. Love's energy is contagious and very effective. And it is cyclical. The beauty of loving self is that it vibrates out the the world around us and then opens us up to receive more back. What a wondrous and beautiful thing! All for the love of self.

Blessings, Lisa

The Voice of Self-Love

If we spoke to our friends the way we thought-speak to ourselves, we would have very few friends. The things that we say to ourselves in our minds are often the harshest words. There is criticism, judgement, frustration, taunts, shame and more. And these thoughts NEVER make us feel better or improve the situation that we are in. Yet, we find it so challenging to shut down these thoughts. We find we expect them. We find we even agree with them. And for some of us, we are so bold, that we even say them out loud about ourselves, seeking affirmation from the world around us!

Many of us have very vocal inner critics. They comment and critique all our efforts. They keep us small. They keep us surrounded by our mediocrity. They prevent us from living the amazing life that calls to us, keeping us in longing, doubt, fear and insecurity.

Unfortunately, self-love is challenging for many. Old wounds, old stories, old labels seem to cling to them. To shake off these negative energies takes a good amount of conscious thinking and commitment to stop the negative thinking. For some, they are not sure how, or they try and find it difficult and then give in to the old patterns and behaviors.

Over time I have discovered one way to help support this change in negative self-talk. It rarely fails. It requires some effort, but it is a feel good effort. It requires some commitment, but those who try it find that the commitment comes naturally. This one change can be the catalyst to transformation in your life. It can be the first step in lowering the volume on the inner critic and eventually shutting it out all together.

What is the secret? Most of us enjoy doing or giving to others. We find great pleasure in helping someone in need, sharing with someone, supporting those who need some assistance and giving of our heart. When we are doing this, our positive energies flow. We feel better about ourselves and the world around us. We are engaged with the essence of love and beauty of the world.

Giving of ourselves keeps us in the moment. It reminds us of all that we have to be grateful for. It opens our heart to the care and needs of others. To do this we naturally open the door that allows love to flow. Love does not discriminate. It is more than willing to flow through and surround us and anyone else we share it with. With time we begin to view life differently. With time our perspective begins to shift. Love has a way of doing this. We begin to see our faults and shortcomings through a lens of compassion and understanding. The same compassion and understanding that we are sharing with others.

Step one of shutting down the inner critic is to share acts of love and care with others. Follow your passion. Stay connected with the world and people around you. Share your gifts, your understanding and heart. Find ways to give. Choose a cause to support. As you open the door to love wider and wider you will find that there is also love flowing to you. Embrace it. Be with it and be aware that there is more than enough love to go around. Without much more effort than this, you will find that those nagging negative thoughts of shame and blame will become less and less. You will begin to hear a gentler and kinder voice calling to you, cheering you on and celebrating you. The voice of self-love.

Blessings, Lisa