Supportive Distance

The past few days have been spent, for me, in service to others, mostly family members. It was a full week of decision-making, events that provoked stresses and feelings of vulnerability for many of my family. Each one sought me out to vent to, to share with, to inquire from and to explore possibilities with. Being a mother of five children, this is something that I have grown accustomed to, but admittedly it is these times when two or more of them need me in this manner all at the same time that I feel the weight of it all. After much good work, insightful processing, patience and gentle unfolding, each has found them selves on the other side. They were able to walk through the door of decision and lesson on their own with my tender encouragement and love. Now we can celebrate the forward movement each has made on their path. Now we can look back at the lessons that sparkle like gems for each. It is beautiful.

And for me, now I can find some time for pause. As Cesare Pavese states, “Just a bit of silence and everything stops in its actual place.” And that is what I need on this day, just a bit of silence so that life can return to where it needs to be, so that I can engage with it in the place that I am and so that my family can continue moving on. I think there are times when we become engaged in the lives of our family and friends, sometimes because we are invited in, other times because our energies are required and then sometimes because we want to be. Regardless of the reason, it is important to our family and friends that we stay present and that we remember it is THEIR story that is unfolding. We do not need to be brought into the drama of it. Loving support means we are able to remain nearby but do not become so involved that we are living it for them.

I think for some this can be challenging. There are those who are the fixers, who want to undo any hurt or wrong. There are those who are the diversion makers who try to draw away the loved one from potential pain or suffering. And there are those are the participants who become enthralled in the story, even though it is not there own. Learning how to be supportive and caring without stepping into any of these roles is sometimes challenging, but always important. It is within this space that we are allowing the one we love to learn what they need to, be who they are becoming and gain the lesson that is waiting for them, while we continue to love, encourage and witness for them with honor.

Blessings ~ Lisa

©COPYRIGHT 2013 LISA MEADE

How Strong Are Your Thoughts?

It is not always easy. We are human after all. But it has been proven that our thoughts are far more powerful than we give them credit for. Stay positive and stop worrying about things you can't control. Your thoughts are powerful. Healthy thoughts are crucial to a healthy body. Positive thoughts lead to happiness. We create the moment, the day, the world and the responses that surround us. We all have bad experiences, face stressful situations, have disappointments, make mistakes, or experience disagreements. But they do not need to be more than that. Imagine if we had a bad experience, remained present for it, did not reflect back into the past and compare or contrast it and did not carry it around with us for the rest of the day or the days to come. Imagine having a disagreement and not letting it be more than that, a difference of opinion, and not allowing it to impact our relationship or the mood that we are in for the rest of the day. By facing these types of life situations this way, we remain present and we are in control of our thoughts.

I don’t think we give ourselves enough credit for the power we have in our lives and over our reactions to what happens within them. We step into the role of victim too often. We react without fully being present with what is happening and allowing our body, mind, heart and soul to be with it. So when we react we are only partially present usually bringing our emotions and our memories to the scenario, but little else. Acting out of ego rarely involves the power of our thoughts, the intention of our soul or the love and compassion of our heart. Given the person I am striving to be, that does not make sense to me.

So how do we change this? It takes practice, intention and committed effort. Often our emotional reaction is a habit we have created for ourselves from repeated behavior. Often our thought process is not challenged by our inner truth and is allowed to run rampant through emotional land mines that explode at our touch and leave a pretty big mess for us to wade through. So that means to begin this way of living we first have to break the patterns of reaction. Stopping ourselves, using grounding techniques, whether it be breath work, meditation, prayer, journeying…whatever it takes to break the cycle of reaction without checking in with our authentic self, our inner truth and being present in the moment. We also have to challenge our thoughts, asking ourselves how does it support the greater good of our soul, our day, our life or our relationships? How does it reflect what we truly believe? Is it based upon fact or is it based upon emotional energies? Will the thought change once we have ridden through the pain, disappointment or loss? If so then we can release the thought for now and just be present.

Living this way takes perseverance and practice. It is not readily modeled for us by most of the people we interact with, but that does not mean it is not possible to embrace and adopt. Understanding that the power and energy behind our actions and thoughts has a great influence on our life’s happiness and wholeness and then ripples out to the lives of those around us helps us to return to this daily and bring our best efforts.

Blessings ~ Lisa

©COPYRIGHT 2013 Lisa Meade

An Investment in Self

It is Friday and I am coming off of a very busy and full week. My body, mind and soul are looking forward to the downtime of the weekend. While I still have quite a lot on my “plate” for the upcoming days there is a transition time of tomorrow that will give me the pause, the rest and the time for restoration. I honor that my body is telling me to slow down, to rest, and to have some pleasure and fun. I intend to listen fully. Do you listen to your body’s messages? Do you take notice? Or do you just keep plugging along until the bottom drops out and you get sick, hurt, angry, stressed or wait until some other unfortunate result occurs? If this is you, have you asked yourself why?

Some folks just don’t know how to slow down. They don’t know what that looks like for them. Sometimes their self worth is based on production and busy-ness. Sometimes people are afraid to stop and listen because of what they might hear will not be to their liking or frighten them. Some people just don’t know how to relax, it feels awkward, causes some anxiety and they feel lost.

Unfortunately, listening to our body’s messages and responding to its needs is one more thing to do. It truly is. But if you don’t, I can promise you that you will pay the price eventually and it could be far more than what you anticipated. And for those that have to learn how, it is an investment, but again I promise that it is a worthy investment.

The bottom line is this attention to your body’s needs cannot be done effectively by anyone else but you. And for all the time it may take, the effort it may need, the awkwardness it may cause, in the end it will be worth it. I recommend to my clients to try it fortwo weeks and if at the end of those two weeks you are noticing positive changes, try for another two weeks. It is amazing how this type of investment multiplies so quickly in its value. You will discover things that it improves that you were not even aware of or thought they needed improving.

You have one body. You have twenty-four hours in a day and seven days in a week. If you can give your body a mere 30 minutes as day of attention, whether it be exercise, healthy food choices, stress management or even laughter and companionship you are taking only three and one half hours out of 168 hours in a week for yourself. Now really, are you going to try to convince yourself that you don’t have the time? You know you are worth it and you know that in the end you will appreciate the difference and value the investment in Self.

Blessings ~ Lisa

©COPYRIGHT 2013 Lisa Meade

Visiting With Our Shadow Self

Many people are fearful of the shadow world. They would rather not explore it, face it or even discuss it. But as a shaman I know the gifts to be found there, the lessons to be learned and the beauty of my soul that has been revealed there. As the late Debbie Ford said, “You can't be fully yourself if you have aspects that are hiding. The shadow holds the truth of all authentic parts of being human - your vulnerability, your discontent, your jealousy, or an experience from the past that you haven't digested. The only way to invite them out of the shadow is to bring them into the light. The light is a new perspective in which you see everything that's happening is happening to help you develop your soul. Then you're free - free to be who you are most authentically, free to ask for what you need, free to find your joy and bliss, free to share your gifts.” There is so much wholeness and greatness to be embraced once we face our shadow world. We all have a shadow self that needs to be revealed, understood and brought into the light of the day. Our soul then can be fully embraced, it can expand to all its possibilities and receive the healing it may need. Without doing the work we need to do to explore our wounds, uncover our disappointments and sadness and accept our vulnerable parts we stay stuck. Our freedom is the gift for this effort. We are given freedom to be our beautiful self, to share our gifts, to trust our truth, and to share these attributes with the lives of others.

Working with the shadow of self requires having self compassion. Ego will want to shame or blame us. Anger may try to enter the equation. Peace, patience and flexibility will serve you well when working with this aspect of our self. Working within the shadow world means being open to different perspectives on a situation and exploring the possibilities we have not been willing to entertain in the past. Many times it helps if we have someone to support us in the shadow work process to help keep us balanced and in our truth.

A shaman has worked extensively with shadow in order to get to the place where they can offer their strengths in healing and soul retrieval and to be able to decipher the messages shared for the soul from the other realms. As with many spiritual practices, learning to be fully in one’s truth can take time spent in personal reflection. Learning to see the beauty in all things, even within our pain and loss, helps to bring the balance and focus onto one’s personal spiritual path.

Blessings ~ Lisa

©COPYRIGHT 2013 Lisa Meade