Are You Singing the Blues?

SO you are having one of those days. You know what kind I mean. You woke up tired, you don’t want to work out, you can’t wait for the kids to get on the bus or are considering taking a sick day from work, you cannot even begin to think about what is for dinner or the laundry or . . . It is a day you wish to hide from. It is a day when your energy is at its lowest. It is a day when NOTHING seems positive or bright. Everything is weighted down with a veil of grey! A happy thought seems pretty far away and you just want to get through the day.

So what do you do? How do you handle one of these days? Everyone has a different style, chooses a different approach, and some are more healthy and honoring than others.

Can you lean into the darkness? Can you embrace it and just accept it for what it is, without feeding the need to try to change it? Can you accept that sometimes our tanks are less than full, or vision is a little clouded and our bodies are simply worn out? What would happen if you stood with a healthy gaze to meet the eye of a bad day? No whining about it, no taking it out on others, no hiding your head under your pillow. You just face it . . . that’s all. Accept it for what it is? Have you ever tried that?

Sometimes, some of us try to pretend it’s not there. BUT we really don’t do a very good job, which just adds to our exhaustion. AND whoever told us we wouldn’t have bad days or that if we do we need to buck up, suck it up and smile? PLEASE!

Instead, try this, “Ok self, it looks like it is going be one of those days. Let’s just go with it. Let’s not blame or judge anyone or anything. Let’s not project any anger, irritation, frustration or pity. Let’s not go and hide under the covers or in a glass of wine (whine). Let’s just BE with it.” How does that make you feel? Maybe it won’t erase the bad day . . . BUT it will keep it from getting worse!

It is about having integrity over the choices you make in your life. It is about being answerable about how you handle the good, the bad and the ugly! Honoring your body temple also means honoring the bad days too. Life is not filled with Hallmark moments. We can still be wise women, full women, intention filled women and have a bad day. It’s ok. Tomorrow we begin again!

When you are blue, what shade are you? Are you deep dark navy or robin’s egg? Finding the exact depth, color, or shape of your sadness sometimes helps keep it in perspective. I used this with my children when they were young. If someone came screaming in the back door, holding their throbbing finger, tears streaming down their face and wailing, I would say, “You have hurt yourself and are very upset! How red does it hurt? Is it fire engine red or is it cotton candy pink?” They got used to this tool as an assessment. Sometimes they would pick one or the other or they would say in between. It helped me to help them. It helped them to keep in focus the level of their pain and then as the pain subsided they could express this by saying it is getting lighter in color. Most importantly, it gave them something else to focus the intense energy of the pain and their feelings towards and gave them a method of expression.

Shades of sadness are even more varied. If you approach all your sadness with the same level of energy then you may be sending a mixed message to your body, mind and heart. Yes, pain is pain, but if you are “down in the dumps” that is very different than having your heart feel like it is breaking. You deserve the correct level and dosage of attention. Too much—too often and you can become numb the healing effects of good self-care! Too little—too late and your Self feels neglected.

The next time you have a down day, a day of hurt, or a day of sadness . . . what shade of blue can you attach to it? See if that helps you in measuring out your dose of self-care appropriately.

Blessings ~ Lisa

©COPYRIGHT 2012 Lisa Meade

Me and My Shadow

I recently re-read Debbie Ford’s The Dark Side of the Light Chasers for the third time. To say I love this book is an understatement. Each and every time I read it I learn more. I seem to go deeper into the pages, to the words, to the theory and to the process. Debbie Ford teaches us how to understand what the shadow is. She explains that working with shadow allows us to reach the darker side of ourselves where our small self resides. It also allows us to embrace our highest self in all its brilliance. If you wish to be free of shame and blame, if you wish to experience self-love and acceptance, then shadow work is for you. You will need to bring your tool belt with the tools of honesty, compassion and bravery at the ready. You will need to show up and be present. So what is your shadow? Think of the different parts of yourself you often don’t like to own up to. What are the parts of you that you are prone to denying or hiding from others? Those are your shadow sides. If you have ever felt you were lazy, mean spirited, fearful, or selfish…those would be aspects of shadow. Other aspects could be silliness, awkwardness, clumsy or dull. Get the picture?

Until we make peace with our shadow side and accept it, we live a life of battle with our wholeness. We give so much of our power away when we do not have this alignment. We create an inner struggle and we do not fully embrace all of ourselves. According to Ford, “The whole world is a mirror of our own consciousness, and when we make peace with the disowned aspects of ourselves, we make peace with the world.” So take a look at the people and the situations of our life. How are things being mirrored back to you? If you don’t like what you see, then there may be some shadow work that needs to be done.

Debbie Fords shadow work shows a way of embracing the shadow side of ourselves. Instead of running away from shadow or rejecting it, we view our shadows as our teachers. When we open up to the lessons and gifts we then see our hurts and wounds become transformed into wisdom we can take to our life’s path. Our shadow side is not something to be resolved or healed…it is something to dig into, to go deeper and deeper still, harvesting a rich and abundant life! We face what we have feared, love what we have hated and embrace what we have denied. We become fuller and more powerful. It is a process that changes everything.

Blessings ~ Lisa

©COPYRIGHT 2012 Lisa Meade

Too Full For More

So we plead our case. We ask, God, Spirit, The Universe for something we dream for or want. But are we truly ready to be recipients? Have we done the work to prepare for what it is we are asking for? We need to pay particular attention to our emotional state of being. If we are not ready to receive, we won’t be taken seriously. If we are still muddy inside are we really ready? If we are still harboring hurt feelings, unresolved anger, gaping open wounds of pain or anything that keeps us being clean with ourselves and others, then our request will often and most likely should, go without response.

How can we ask for more in our lives when we are not dealing with what we already have on our plate authentically? In the shamanic world our stories often keep us from moving on. We hold onto an interpretation of our life and let it guide us. We give it power that it may not call for. We allow it to dictate what we do, how we feel, what we say and more. But it is only a story. It is only one possible version of our reality.

Let me put it to you this way. Have you ever had something happen to you that in the moment you saw it one way. It felt real. It looked that way when you thought about it. It unfolded the same way each time you told others about it. But then time goes on. More time passes. And then one day you recall it, and you cannot remember all the facts. The heat and passion of the moment may be gone. You actually may even remember it differently and if you were asked to share the story, it would possibly unfold quite differently than from when it first occurred. Now it is still the same event and it happened to the same person, you, but somehow it has changed a little. You are less muddy about it. You are not so invested in it any more. You may not be as impassioned either. Not everyone gets to this place in the story. For some, the story and all the facts and emotions are held onto tightly. They get stuck in their story.

If that is the case, then we are bogged down with energy and emotions that need to move on. We need to be able to look at the events in our life as a casual observer, and not carry around the pain for the rest of time. It can keep us in a place of being stuck. It can keep us from moving forward and growing. And it can keep us from getting what we want from Source.

We need to clear our page. Be aware of our story, but not controlled by it. We need to be open to receive what is next for us. If we are bogged down holding onto our stories, how can we embrace what awaits?

Blessings ~ Lisa

©COPYRIGHT 2012 Lisa Meade

Celebrate!

When was the last time you celebrated YOU? Birthday’s don’t count . . . they are ingrained in our society as Hallmark moments filled with butter cream frosted cakes with neon colored candy flowers for decoration! Blechhhh. I am talking about celebrating a rite of passage, an achievement, a release, or a life’s passage. It could be completing a project at work, entering menopause, sticking to an exercise program, becoming a grandmother, or completing a gardening project.

Have you ever thought about honoring yourself with an appropriate celebration that matches the event? What would that celebration look like? Think about what a celebration is for. It is to mark a special occasion. Every time we take the time to honor ourselves we send a message of love, acceptance, respect and appreciation of our authentic self.

Pick something you would like to celebrate. How do you wish to honor yourself. Find the right size celebration. Is it a hot bath, a new CD, a hike on a beautiful day, a cone of ice cream, a manicure, a dinner at your favorite restaurant, a new book, an afternoon of movie watching, or a membership to a new yoga class? Treat yourself and celebrate your Self!

Wait! What? What was that? Was that a voice I heard mumbling about there is no time? Or did it mention something about not being worth the bother? Or did I hear a sarcastic laugh! PLEASE! I am serious here! Where does this voice of discontent and disapproval come from? Does it have a place or time that it was born. Think back to when you learned this lie of you not being worth it. Who told or taught you that? Aren’t you ready to be done with that old storyline!

The best way to blast it out of your life, to rid it from your present and future, is to take it on. Have a grand celebration! With every negative, disempowering thought that enters your mind, stare it down, shout at it, laugh at it, ignore it . . . whatever works for you. Just DO IT! Celebrate you and your special-ness. Honor the significance it brings to your life.

Blessings ~ Lisa

©COPYRIGHT 2012 Lisa Meade