The Benefit of Alone Time

How are you with being alone? Some people treasure it while others run in the opposite direction! For many of us, the only real alone time we get is while driving in a car or a quick ten-minute shower. Not nearly good enough! Most of us don’t even know how beneficial and inspiring alone time can be! Signs that you need more alone time are quite telling. Do you know what you really like to do in your free time? Do you have a favorite pass time? Do you have a hobby that you like to do alone, such as reading, handiwork, daydreaming or puzzle making? When was the last time you got to do any of this and really lose track of time doing it. I am not talking about squeezing it in or feeling guilty because you believe something else is being neglected.

Being alone allows time for you to meet your own needs, not just everyone else’s. There will always be someone else’s needs to be met! If you make time to meet your needs then you are better able to face the challenges of the day. Makes sense!

So what keeps you from making alone time? Are you one of the people who would rather be busy, busy, and busy? Do you believe it shows the world how productive you are, how important, how needed? Be honest with yourself. Honestly, you know this can only go on for so long and then you get crispy, burnt out or resentful. And who does that resentment get focused on? Everyone and everything else. Rarely do busy people recognize that they are in control, most of the time, with how they spend their time.

Solitude can offer us mental diversion from the stress filled tasks and lists we carry around with us. Time alone can allow us opportunity to learn more about ourselves. Separateness can be a fostering of inner peace as we intentionally seek just being in the moment. Time alone can bring play back into our life. Alone time can feed our spirits, rest our minds, and celebrate our bodies and so much more.

The next time you map out your day, put in some alone time. Find a way to make it fit. Find a half hour, fifteen minutes even, to get to know a part of you that may feel neglected or needs some personal attention. You will be surprised at how good it feels and how much it will benefit you. You may even want to do it daily!

Personalize Affirmation Power

If you were to walk through my home you may or may not notice the personalized affirmations I have positioned quite intentionally about. It all started when I took charge of my health and made a big personal campaign to honor my body temple. It meant changing my perspective on my self image, my self-worth and my relationship with food and exercise. My intentions were great, fabulous and well-rounded, even realistic. But my commitment was notorious for waning and losing steam. I knew I needed motivation. I had family and friends behind me. I had great resources at my fingertips. But what I needed the most was excuse busters for those quiet creeper moments. You know, those late night snack attacks, those skip the exercise today because you have a dentist appointment this afternoon excuses, those why bother, you only lost one pound last week monsters and those just a small bite, no one will know lies. So to fend off these thieves and robbers of my intentions I beat them to their punch. I posted inside cabinets, on the treadmill, on my bathroom mirror, on the scale, in the fridge and on the dashboard of the car…just to name a few spots. I personally created affirmations that spoke directly to me. I scripted in my head the one liners and excuses, the bargains and empty promises I made to myself and then came up with the perfect come back for each of them.

Sometimes I would use famous lines from some of my favorite philosophers or authors. At other times I would quote myself directly, as though I were speaking to a beloved friend. Often I would poke fun at myself, as humor worked wonderfully for me. It worked. It worked really well! On a roll and to continue to outsmart myself and to cause traction on the slippery slope I could sometimes find myself on, I kept at it. I would switch them up, replace them, decorated them to make them more prominent. Whatever it took, I did it. I decided I was worth it. I was so worth it I dropped over 100 pounds and changed how I honor my body for the rest of my life. It took a good amount of hard work, a lot of honesty, and patience with my self, but a bit of tough love too. Nothing will ever be the same! The blessings are present daily.

So, what are your struggles and what are your intentions? When you are ready to take them on…think about ways to support yourself. Other people’s affirmations are great. But if you are like me, having a more personalized version, one that really pokes me, or takes the air out of my arrogant balloon, or stares me in the eye and won’t back off….those work best! It takes hard work, determination and self- compassion. But it also takes no ifs, ands or buts and no excuses, lies or self-deprecating thoughts. Step up and be your own self-empowering guru. You know what to say! The script is already written in your head.

Blessings ~ Lisa

©COPYRIGHT 2012 Lisa Meade

Peppered Throughout the Day

Admittedly, I have very busy days. With five children, even those out on their own need TLC regularly, my darling husband, three separate careers, ongoing course work and all the small stuff… well, you can imagine. We all have full or overflowing plates it seems. Given that, I am quite certain that a small and simple acts that I have placed into the tiny spaces of free time that are left in my day are what save me. These acts keeps me grounded. They preserve my focus on my intentions. They help me stay connected to Spirit. They also support me in letting the petty problems that I stub my ego on throughout the day, roll off my back. They allow my heart to stay open to others.

So what are these small and simple acts that I weave through my day? I pepper my day with moments of prayer, deep breathing, positive affirmations, chants, meditations and more. These small undertakings keep the flow in my day. I rarely get stuck anymore. I am not saying I don’t have a “bad” day from time to time, that is inevitable, but these choices I make to bring the focus back can help save the day from falling completely into that deep black hole!

It is not unusual to find me chanting through a red light. You may see me whispering a mantra to myself as I chop the onions for the veggie chili for dinner. You may find me with my eyes closed after getting off the phone with one of my adult children, sending them prayers of positive energy and light to assist get them over whatever troubling speed bump they are facing.

People often wonder at how they can “become” more spiritual. It is as though they think there is a course they can take or a method that they can be trained in. The reality is that we are spiritual beings and we forget that beautiful truth. Being spiritual means just that…be spiritual. Bring whatever sacred act you feel connected to, whatever resonates with you into your life regularly and meaningfully. You must practice trusting it, honoring it, celebrating with it and relying on it.

Life will give you all the opportunities to put it into practice. And your mind will try to tell you there is not enough time. BUT that is exactly when you need it the most! Making time for your spirituality is as important as making time to exercise, or making time to eat healthy whole foods, or making time to laugh. Without it…what kind of a life are you living? You get to choose each and every glorious day!

Blessings ~ Lisa

©COPYRIGHT 2012 Lisa Meade

Are You Your Own Bully?

I have come across a common complaint among many of my spiritual life coaching clients. They are tired of beating themselves up and want to stop. The reasons for this behavior are as different and diverse as the clients themselves, but almost all began in childhood. Being unusually hard on themselves, many of these clients have subtle patterns and overt behaviors that often go unnoticed or accepted by others in their lives. Think of the people in your life who you know have great difficulty accepting a compliment, or those who are never satisfied with the work they do and seem to always find fault with some aspect of it, or those who can get particularly worked up and angry with themselves over some small shortcoming or flaw. Any kind of failure is unacceptable.

This self-bullying behavior sends very distinct messages to our bodies. It also takes a great amount of energy. Imagine the time that is wasted in this activity! If you wish to see what if feels like to be a bully to yourself, get quiet and focused. Think about a time when someone made you feel really bad about yourself. Maybe they humiliated or embarrassed you, or perhaps they yelled at you and used you as an example to others. How is your body reacting? How do you feel? What thoughts begin to go through your head? For some, this reaction, these thoughts and these feelings are far too common.

Not treating yourself with respect and in a kind manner is like a bad habit. For those who have been at it for a while, it is very hard to break the pattern. But being aware of how it makes us feel, focusing on the time and energy we are wasting doing it and wanting to make a change are all part of the first steps in transitioning out of this behavior. I often suggest to my clients to make notes about how bullying makes them feel both during the actual act and then later. Sometimes this gentle noticing brings about such a strong want to change that they are able to make the necessary shifts in thoughts and perspectives to do so. For most there is a deep desire to be healthy and happy, to live a life filled with peace and contentment. If that want can shine through the fog that is created by self-bullying then the change can begin.

Blessings ~ Lisa

©COPYRIGHT 2012 Lisa Meade